I was tall for my age as a kid. The kind of tall where every adult asks if you’re going to play basketball. People also generally assumed I was 2 years older than I was. I could ride all the scary rollercoasters when I was six. But Mother Nature is a cruel mistress. She can …
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Epiphany of the day: being called a poser only bothers you if you are, in fact, a poser. Second epiphany of the day: the only people that would call someone a poser are the ones that would be bothered by being called a poser. See what I did there? Seriously though, does anyone actually still …
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I wasn’t completely satisfied with the scent of my eco-friendly-cruelty-free-insufferable-hippie shampoo. Also the store quit carrying it. So I decided to order it on Amazon. I noticed that they had Herbal and Tea Tree. Tea Tree was the one that had not impressed me. And I should clarify right now: the Tea Tree was fine. …
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In high school, my friends peer pressured me into going tanning. They wouldn’t listen to me when I told them, “I don’t tan, I burn.” My friend goes in for like 40 minutes. She comes out all gold and bronze-y and perfect. I go in for 15 minutes and come out red as a fucking …
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Thinking back on my childhood injuries, I’m surprised my parents didn’t force me to wear a helmet. Age 7: Rode a sled over a retaining wall… backwards. Knocked out my front tooth. Age 10: Ran full speed into a giant rock while playing tag with my brother and my cousin. Broke my hand. Age 11: …
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